“Most goals people set are not achieved because they are not held accountable for them. When goals are made in private they tend to fall off because people stop being motivated, stop focusing and stop prioritizing.” – Bola Onada Sokunbi
Do you remember the first time your parents allowed you to go play with a friend outside unsupervised?
Before you could even get your shoes on to race out the door, mom or dad made both you and your friend pause and promise to watch out for one other and be safe. After assuring your parents that you both will stay accountable for watching out for one another, you both dash off and enjoy the freedom of play.
As the day goes on, you find a large oak tree that you’re dying to climb. Staring up at the massive trunk, your eyes roam until you find a branch that is “sturdy” enough to hold your weight. After finding a thick ledge you pause and think about the promise you made to your parents, you know that you could get hurt but you want to scale this tree anyway.
“I don’t think this is a good idea.”
Your friend tells you as you hug the base of the trunk and try to find your footing on the grooves of the bark. You assure them that you’ll be safe and start to ascend. Halfway through your climb you lose your footing and grab onto the closest branch in your grasp. You grab on with both hands and rapidly kick your dangling feet.
“I’ll go get help!”
Your friend yells as you focus on not looking down at the ground below you. Just as you start to hear the branch in your grasp cracking you hear the voices of your parents in the distance. Your dad yells up at you to let go and he’ll catch you before you land.
Without a second thought, you let go of the branch and land in your father’s arms.
You are safe.
After a lecture from your parents and a week on punishment to reflect on your actions, you are thankful that your friend and parents were there to keep you safe. You realize you could’ve been seriously injured and decide to not take that risk again.
Having a solid support system allowed you to avoid bodily harm but what about the support system you need to protect your self-worth and emotions?
According to this article, over 70% of teenage girls feel that they’re not “good enough” However according to that same article, the number one wish among all young adults is that they are able to have more open conversations with their parents and guardians about their struggles.
Confidence is an everyday job and having strong accountability partners and support groups make a huge difference in determining the status of your self worth each day.
What would your world look like if you had a support system of accountability partners, support groups and self-awareness techniques that help you combat the symptoms of low self-worth?
Accountability starts with you, having a foundation of confidence techniques and tools are vital in avoiding the risks associated with a lack of confidence. When you are facing the decision of giving into the bad choices because of your temporary struggle with confidence, it is up to you to be self-aware enough to realize what is happening and start putting your healthy coping mechanisms into action.
Having an accountability partner that you can trust to share your feelings with is an important line of defense as well. Creating a clear and effective communication channel with this person in case of “emergencies” is a great way to avoid bad decision making. Often times being self-aware isn’t enough, having an outside perspective that can minimize your destructive thoughts is the solution.
Am I the only one struggling?
Dealing with low self- worth often times makes us feel very alone. Having a circle of empathetic confidants is so important in keeping things in perspective. Joining a support group also allows you the opportunity to bond with and mentor others who are battling with self-esteem issues you have previously tackled.
In short, if you often find yourself in a cycle of bad decision making, in turbulent relationships or if you generally lack life control, you need a support system now.
Check out the resources I’ve included below to get started on your building your support system today.
Accountability Partner- Sign up for a free 30-minute coaching call with me below to discuss your self-confidence goals. We’ll work together to create an action plan that allows you to reach your goals faster so that you can stop self-loathing and start self-loving.