The Reason WHY you Continue to Struggle with Self Esteem

“Most goals people set are not achieved because they are not held accountable for them. When goals are made in private they tend to fall off because people stop being motivated, stop focusing and stop prioritizing.” – Bola Onada Sokunbi

Do you remember the first time your parents allowed you to go play with a friend outside unsupervised?

Before you could even get your shoes on to race out the door, mom or dad made both you and your friend pause and promise to watch out for one other and be safe. After assuring your parents that you both will stay accountable for watching out for one another, you both dash off and enjoy the freedom of play.

As the day goes on, you find a large oak tree that you’re dying to climb. Staring up at the massive trunk, your eyes roam until you find a branch that is “sturdy” enough to hold your weight. After finding a thick ledge you pause and think about the promise you made to your parents, you know that you could get hurt but you want to scale this tree anyway.

“I don’t think this is a good idea.”

Your friend tells you as you hug the base of the trunk and try to find your footing on the grooves of the bark. You assure them that you’ll be safe and start to ascend. Halfway through your climb you lose your footing and grab onto the closest branch in your grasp. You grab on with both hands and rapidly kick your dangling feet.

“I’ll go get help!”

Your friend yells as you focus on not looking down at the ground below you. Just as you start to hear the branch in your grasp cracking you hear the voices of your parents in the distance. Your dad yells up at you to let go and he’ll catch you before you land.

Without a second thought, you let go of the branch and land in your father’s arms.

You are safe.

After a lecture from your parents and a week on punishment to reflect on your actions, you are thankful that your friend and parents were there to keep you safe. You realize you could’ve been seriously injured and decide to not take that risk again.

Having a solid support system allowed you to avoid bodily harm but what about the support system you need to protect your self-worth and emotions?

According to this article, over 70% of teenage girls feel that they’re not “good enough” However according to that same article, the number one wish among all young adults is that they are able to have more open conversations with their parents and guardians about their struggles.

Confidence is an everyday job and having strong accountability partners and support groups make a huge difference in determining the status of your self worth each day.

What would your world look like if you had a support system of accountability partners, support groups and self-awareness techniques that help you combat the symptoms of low self-worth?

Self Awareness

Accountability starts with you, having a foundation of confidence techniques and tools are vital in avoiding the risks associated with a lack of confidence. When you are facing the decision of giving into the bad choices because of your temporary struggle with confidence, it is up to you to be self-aware enough to realize what is happening and start putting your healthy coping mechanisms into action.

Accountability Partner

Having an accountability partner that you can trust to share your feelings with is an important line of defense as well. Creating a clear and effective communication channel with this person in case of “emergencies” is a great way to avoid bad decision making. Often times being self-aware isn’t enough, having an outside perspective that can minimize your destructive thoughts is the solution.

Support Groups

Am I the only one struggling?

Dealing with low self- worth often times makes us feel very alone. Having a circle of empathetic confidants is so important in keeping things in perspective. Joining a support group also allows you the opportunity to bond with and mentor others who are battling with self-esteem issues you have previously tackled.

In short, if you often find yourself in a cycle of bad decision making, in turbulent relationships or if you generally lack life control, you need a support system now.

Check out the resources I’ve included below to get started on your building your support system today.


Accountability Planner- Small Habits Create Big Changes, Download our free daily accountability planner now!

Confidence Workshop- Get the foundational tools you need to start living a confident life today 

Support Group- Get Lifetime Access to MYA Accountability Circle, A safe space for young adults to connect, support and encouragement one another in reaching their goals.

Accountability Partner- Sign up for a free 30-minute coaching call with me below to discuss your self-confidence goals. We’ll work together to create an action plan that allows you to reach your goals faster so that you can stop self-loathing and start self-loving.

Arthur’s Pitch

Arthur is an extraordinarily resilient leadership professional who has over ten years of experience in owning and operating his own business! He is now seeking new challenges in the workforce and wants to be that asset you have been searching for to complete your team. If you know of any opportunities for Art give him a shout at As you can see we are our clients biggest cheerleaders and the work we do with our young adult clients is integral in this ever-evolving workforce. Know of a young adult in your life who could utilize our unique success training services? Have them take our success evaluation at

University Blues: A Guide on Balancing a Life and Academic Career

So you’re in the thick of things. The days of blocked schedules, timed lunches, and dress codes are long behind you. Now your days look a little brighter, mostly due to the fact that you don’t have to start them before the sun comes up. Though you could do a bit better with setting an actual alarm and not relying on your “natural body clock.”
You have settled into life out from under your parent’s roof. The independent life is great; no curfew, no rules, no structure. However, you could use a little more discipline with not wearing the same sweatshirt every day. As well as the “pajama day” theme you’ve been committing to all semester.
Classes are great. You’ve got a good handle on your academic load, but you are most definitely straddling that C+/B- line hard with your major specific courses. The easy A electives will save your GPA at the end the semester, so you’re not worried.
Let’s get real, you’re drowning. You need help, and lots of it.
There’s room for optimism here. Whether you know it or not resources are available so that you can not only survive but thrive in your classes while still maintaining a life.
Get on a schedule
Not talking about the university issued kind here, more along the lines of a paper or digital agenda. Having a great grasp of your time is a powerful tool that will allow you to decipher what activities you truly have time for. Your education is your priority during your stay at school so all activities should be planned around your class schedule. That doesn’t mean that you don’t have time for a life. It means that you have to manage your time wisely. Practicing great time management not only helps you as a student but in your future as an adult. Yes kids, the act of balance gets more difficult as time progresses. It’s best to get a handle of your time while you’re only responsible for yourself.
Treat your body well
You’re still going to have that vessel long after you cross the stage. Treat your body well by maintaining it with a healthy diet and regular exercise regime. Sorry, sprinting across campus during finals doesn’t count as working out. Get the most out of that tuition dollar and visit the campus gym. Dining services may not be featuring the salad bar at the campus mess hall, but it’s there.
Get an academic guide
If there was a way to get an advantage over your competition in landing your dream job would you go for it? If you didn’t your direct competitor would. Apply that same logic to your university courses. Your future employer isn’t going to want to be fishing in the waters of the bottom half of your graduating class. So you don’t need to be swimming there. Tutors don’t only help you pass your chemistry midterm but they guide you in crafting successful life skills. Such as, determining your best mode of learning so that you can be mindful of how to study. Preparing you for tests if you experience testing anxiety, and advice on what questions to ask your professor to gain the most of each lecture.
Have fun!
You only get this experience once. Make the most of it by getting involved on campus. Join a club, rush or cross with a fraternity or sorority. These years are for your enjoyment. Maintaining a healthy social life while in school is a positive way to create memories, form life long bonds, and possibly aid your future career. The best business relationships are formed when there is a common thread between both parties. You never know what that membership, or university knowledge may do for you in the future. Stay connected to your university peers on social platforms like Facebook as well as LinkedIn. Those endorsements add up and make a great impression on recruiters and head hunters searching for a candidate like you.
Your S.O.S. has arrived, you now have some clarity on how to not throw away your college fund while still making it that Bows and Brews party on Thursday night (Must be 21 or older to laugh at that joke).
Finding balance while settling into the brand-new world of independence is tough alone. Which is why this advice is best integrated into your life gradually. If you find yourself facing challenges, you might benefit from finding an accountability partner that will make sure that you are accomplishing all the goals you want done.

About My Young Adult Success Coach

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